Are You with the right partner?

Angela Healy one of my beautiful Daughters shared this with us on Facebook it is a beautiful reflection on love and relationships.

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?


During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

 

 

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all... seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!

This extract is from my upcoming book Daughters-For You:

 

If you make the decision to love it is amazing what happens. The world changes; the other person changes, but the biggest thing is; You Change. Your universe changes or the part you occupy does. Instead of criticising and carping you will look for the good and the positive. You will tell your partner what he is good at and encourage him in those he is not. You will endure and try your best to make those changes that will enhance your relationship and not constantly centre on the negative. This takes some doing in any relationship and is especially hard in a bad one, but than what have you got to lose?[i]

When we expect or demand change in others, it is more likely to happen. The movie and stage play My Fair Lady was based on the play Pygmalion and is a story about this effect. The term is based in Greek Mythology,[ii] but is really about the effects of expectation.

Decide to Love and the World will change...

 

References:

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[i] http://www.assumelove.com/2012/04/changing_yourself.html

[ii] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect

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