Not Nigella
She is such
a strong presenter on television and a great personality. I loved her persona
in the kitchen; not pretentious but cheeky, irreverent and sassy. She has a way
about her that is very appealing and down to earth her recipes are simple,
practical and delicious. (See my version of her TV pasta below)
This is all
so far removed from the images of what we have just seen.
See the video.
Her look is:
·
the
deer in the headlights,
·
the
frightened child,
·
of
sheer terror,
·
of
overwhelming fear.
Where is the
persona you and I have come to love and enjoy? It is nowhere to be seen the man
has her by the throat and struggling for air. He is choking the humanity out of
her and treating her like a rag doll.
The man
doing this her second husband Charles Saatchi
is a respected businessman and art pinnacle gallery owner, at the very of
British Society.
I have
covered men’s behaviour and the plight of women in many blogs and in my new
book Daughters over the past year or so and the case of Nigella unfortunately
is typical of a lot men’s behaviour to women.
Diary of an Author.
Consider this: more than one in three Australian
women (34 per cent) who have had an intimate partner have experienced
violence from a partner or ex-partner. A woman is killed almost every week in
this country by a partner or ex-partner. Of all physical assaults against
women, 74.9 per cent occurred in the home, often repeatedly, by a man they
knew. One in four children and young people have witnessed domestic violence
against their mother or stepmother. And violence against women and their
children cost the Australian economy $13.6 billion in 2009 alone.
For
confidential help, call the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic
Violence Counselling Line on 1800 RESPECT
1800 RESPECT ( 1800 737732
1800 737732 FREE or the police on
000. Children and young people requiring help should call the Kids Helpline on 1800
551800 begin
1800 551800 FREE.
From my manuscript Daughters…Men
behaving badly If for whatever
reason a male does not recognise your choice or does not respect you and tries
to control you by vice, force, manipulation or other, then he is to be
condemned. Men behaving badly are not an option for you or for any woman. Strangely some women and societies put up
with men behaving badly. This is normally a cultural or inherited phenomenon.
Picture of battered women
It is About Control it
is all about control the man wanting to control the situation and you. In fact
most cases of bullying and abuse is about control. For the abusive man, bigger,
stronger, more aggressive than his partner it is a given if the situation
arises that he will use these attributes for violence or coercion. If a man is
violent to other people he will be more likely to be violent to you.
The
Cycle of Abuse will go something like this:
Abuse starts: it can be sexual,
physical, or emotional.
The situation may become tense with
lulls in the violent episodes, the abuser may try to halt their violence but
the violence keeps happening.
The abuser often tries to stop. Promising,
apologising, making amends or blaming other factors: Work pressure, family, finances or illness.
He may try to shift the blame to the victim, or even try to down play the
problem.
Sometimes both parties will act as
if nothing is wrong, they ignore the continuing problem. But gradually it
descends to a deeper level of abuse. Or it may be treated or the abused may
leave….
Numbers of studies suggest that men
are different around women. Ducks on the pond may make the water smoother or
rougher depending on the situation the drakes find themselves in. But behaviour
like this is OK as long as it does not involve someone getting hurt or abused.
This is one of the reasons religion was invented to keep these behaviours in
check. When you are around men, remember their behaviour is not entirely a
factor of their conscious decisions but to a certain extent may be due to the
fact they are Psychological Fossils. Remember, that this does not in any way
excuse harm or abuse by males against females in any way.
If you are in a relationship you
have to act with restraint and respect. If you are the victim of abuse do not
let it fester or deny it. Seek help.
Blessings to Nigella and all abused
women.
TV Pasta Adapted from
a recipe by Nigella Lawson
Ingredients:
Handful of good pasta (I like Spaghetti for this one)
Salt
Garlic
Chilli
Olive oil
Bacon
Chives
Herbs (Your Choice)
Parmesan Cheese
Method:
Boil Pasta in Salty water (12 Minutes max)
At the same time
Heat oil in large fry pan (Liberal amounts)
Add garlic and chilli to oil (Sweat)
Add sliced or diced bacon. (Do not Overcook)
Drain pasta –bring to frying pan-combine with bacon
and oil.
Toss in chives or herbs of choice.
Place into warm bowls.
Top with Parmesan Cheese.
Serve with crusty bread.
Great with good beer or red wine.
Enjoy.
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