Loneliness or Solitude?

Loneliness or Solitude?

 

 

Someone mentioned loneliness and solitude the other day and what is the difference, I have been thinking about it, here are some thoughts.

I like to be alone but I work in an industry where I never alone. I have a big family and they are a joy to be with and being alone is not an option when they are around. But one of my greatest joys is to sit by a river, or in my office, or in the shed or hot house, to sit quietly and just be. But that is different to being alone being alone is by definition a forced isolation a lack of company when you would much rather be with people or even a loneliness when you are surrounded by people. Seeking solitude is a search for quiet, a yearning for that period of time when it is only you and your thoughts. Loneliness is a negative thing solitude is positive. Loneliness brings you down and depresses leading to feelings of unwantedness.   Solitude lifts you up and inspires you it leads to moments of insight and inspiration. Loneliness pulls you down and leaves you without energy or direction. Solitude gives you the energy to do better things. Solitude is sought loneliness is imposed.

Solitude is sought loneliness is imposed.

Since I started writing seriously, solitude for me has taken on a new meaning sitting in front of a computer or note pad for hours on end is daunting sometimes. It is lonely too in some ways no one else is with you no one else is responsible for what you produce it is just you.  Writing imposes a solitude that leads to imaginings and thoughts that are necessary for the art and creativity of writing to flourish. At the same time it often starts with that utter sense of loneliness that one gets as you enter the office or room to be alone to write. You leave that place of comfort where you are not lonely into that place of wilful aloneness. Then as you sit there and begin and continue something else takes over you pass from the state of loneliness to a state of total awareness and creativity. This is a great place to be for a writer, and a good place to be for any of us as we make the journey through life this is when those insights come; on what to do, what direction to take, what words to write, what decision to make. Sometimes it is just that feeling of total serenity or peace when you feel most in touch with your God or nature.

You leave that place of comfort where you are not lonely into that place of wilful aloneness.

I think loneliness and solitude are bed fellows or cousins but are opposite’s one positive and the other negative like the two ends of the same magnet. Sometimes we have to experience loneliness to find solitude, sometimes we have to seek solitude to find ourselves and the answers or inspiration we crave and often this is a lonely process. Whatever your state of being right now remember that you will be lonely at some time this is the way of life the way of human existence and socialisation. We are social animals and most of us crave the company of others, the flip side of that is that we will feel lonely when we are shunned, not recognised or isolated. At the same time we need to seek the quiet, the inspirational the solitude which paradoxically leads us into being a much more rounded and contented being.

Seek some solitude today and know that sometimes loneliness is inevitable.

 

John Condliffe

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